Coaching Yourself COURAGEOUSLY – How to Train and Master Your Emotional Muscles

by | Jul 9, 2020

Mastering yourself is true power –  Lao Tzu

How is your Post Covid19 experience going?

For most of the world, we have gone from uncertainty to chaos to more uncertainty and greater chaos.

Life feels like it is in a constant state of being under construction.

Living in these challenging times, it’s easy to be overwhelmed by hopelessness and to feel stuck.

Last week I shared with you how you could cultivate hope to help strengthen your sense of health and well-being. I encourage you to revisit that blog and to work on growing hope into your life to combat the feelings of despondency that I hear so many are experiencing.

Crisis Kit

I have created this anti-anxiety and anti-stress tool kit, proven by science, to help you reduce anxiety and stress. I guarantee you that if you implement some of these ideas and use these tools; you will navigate this uncertainty boat like a highly skilled Captain.

Training Your Emotional Muscles

Today I want to invite you to step up and train your emotional muscles; to learn how to use your emotions to help support you during these unique times.

In this blog post, I am going to share the power of leveraging your positive emotions and befriending your negative ones. By learning how to better master your emotions, you will be empowered to have greater control over your well-being and be more focused as you navigate life’s challenges.

This is essential now more than ever so as to not get stuck in negative emotions which can lead to discouragement, depression, and overwhelm.

Mastering Your Emotions

When you hear the words emotions, feelings, or emotional, what is the first thing that comes to mind? Unfortunately, for most people, those words have an extremely negative connotation.

Despite what you may think, emotions are not the problem in people’s lives; they only become problematic when people let their emotions get out of control much like a puppy left alone at home all day; total bedlam.

What would your life look like if you could master your emotions? Thankfully, controlling your emotions is much easier than you might think. One reason for this is because fortunately, emotions are fluid as opposed to fixed. This is a notable concept to understand because it means you can choose emotions that allow you to have greater control over the things in life you are experiencing.

How to Leverage Your Emotions  

Lead with Self-Awareness

Leveraging your emotions starts with being aware of their presence in your day to day activities and noticing what affect they have on your energy, thoughts, and decisions. This skill is called emotional awareness.

Once you start recognizing your trigger situations, you can better connect with your emotional brain and make decisions based on reason, not emotions.

Coaching Tip:

  • Start noticing and identifying emotions in your day to day goings-on. For example, if you finished a challenging project, you might say, that made me feel accomplished, encouraged, or good. If you had an interview that didn’t go as you wanted it to, you may feel disappointed, sad, or discouraged.
  • Focus on one positive emotion and track it throughout your day. Gratitude is an excellent emotion to focus on. Take note of its presence and how it makes you feel. This encourages you to grow gratitude or whatever positive emotion you choose.
  • Set a timer for 3 minutes and try to list as many emotions as you can. You might be surprised at how many more negative than positive emotions you can think of. It will encourage you to find more positive emotions. Doing so builds emotional awareness.

Becoming aware of these feelings allows you to better identify and connect to them. The greater awareness you have of your own emotions, the better you will be able to make positive changes in your life based on reason, not knee jerk reactions.  You will also be able to recognize the emotional state of others and better connect with them.

Cultivate Positive Emotions/ Befriend Negative Ones

All emotions serve a purpose. Positive and negative emotions perform different functions in your life. The goal is to create a healthy balance of emotions from which you can tap into.

Over the course of time, as you start training yourself to identify your emotions, you will subsequently learn how to cultivate the emotions you want; thus creating emotional balance in your life.

“Emotions and the ability to regulate them are what make us uniquely human.” – Emiliya  Zhivotovskaya

Learning how to master your emotions will empower you to have a greater understanding of what drives you. These skills will prepare you to see opportunities you might have missed and to stay solutions-oriented as you navigate through life’s challenges.

Positive Emotions

Positive emotions are emotions we generally find pleasurable. Some examples of positive emotions are:

  • Joy
  • Gratitude
  • Hope
  • Awe
  • Love
  • Inspiration
  • Serenity
  • Contentment

Positive emotions create an upward spiral and broaden your perspective. Thus they promote a growth mindset. People who have a growth mindset are more resilient. They view obstacles as opportunities and believe that they can achieve what they work for.

They know that they have control over their emotions and choices. In other words, people who choose positive emotions and employ a growth mindset remove all limits to what affects their success, happiness, and fulfillment.

Negative Emotions

Negative emotions are emotions we generally find unpleasant; ones that make you feel unhappy. Some examples of negative emotions are:

  • Fear
  • Anger
  • Frustration
  • Judgment
  • Sadness
  • Melancholy

Negative emotions create a downward spiral and narrow your focus; they drag you down. People who get stuck in negative emotions typically have a fixed mindset as opposed to a growth mindset. They are more prone to become discouraged when facing obstacles; they give up more easily and tend to be defensive. People with fixed mindsets place limits on what they can achieve and settle for mediocrity.

A small amount of negative emotion can prove to be helpful; fear could be warning you of something you might need to take action on. Sadness could be part of the grieving process. However, getting stuck in a negative emotional state or mindset leads to problems.

Finding Balance

The key to mastering your emotions is to understand how to use negative emotions and how to cultivate positive ones to help you find balance and enhance your well-being in life.

Coaching Questions to Grow Emotional Balance

  • When faced with a challenging situation, ask yourself, “What do I need right now?” Look for the emotion you want to have to help you face that challenge.
  • When you find yourself stuck in a negative emotion, ask yourself, “What is this emotion trying to tell me? What positive action might I need to take so I can get unstuck?”
  • What positive emotions motivate you and propel you forward? Choose to weave them into your daily life.

Embrace the Opportunity

Emotions, albeit negative or positive, are neither good nor bad; they are different and create completely different experiences within us. The danger of not being in control of your emotions is to getting and staying stuck.

That’s why I encourage you to embrace the opportunity to master your emotions. A shift in emotions can create an epic shift in the path you take in life; master or slave.

Life under construction is not much fun; there are inconveniences, there are delays, there are frustrations. However, the lessons learned and the rewards at the end of the construction process are priceless. Stay the course; embrace the opportunity.

Make it a courageous day!
Keep believing,

Rita

Crisis Kit

I have created this anti-anxiety and anti-stress tool kit, proven by science, to help you reduce anxiety and stress. I guarantee you that if you implement some of these ideas and use these tools; you will navigate this uncertainty boat like a highly skilled Captain.

Rita Hudgens
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