Back in the day when I was a very young child, I had one huge emotional trigger guaranteed to terrify the living daylights out of me and send me into a full blown anxiety attack. This well-known trigger was a highly anticipated event, a tradition that all my friends and family waited eagerly for; the annual television broadcast of The Wizard of Oz.
For those of you who were not around back then, you have to understand the culture of the time; this was pre VCR, DVD and Netflix days. If by any chance you missed it, you had to wait an entire year to see it again. The Friday before the weekend airing of The Wizard, while walking home from school, the buzz from all my little classmates was always, “Can’t wait to watch The Wizard this weekend!”
Who wouldn’t be excited to see Dorothy, Toto, The Cowardly Lion, The Tin Man and the Scarecrow skip merrily down the yellow brick road to the Emerald City? I’ll tell you who wasn’t excited: me. I was petrified at the thought that yet another year was upon me and I had to endure sitting through 2 hours and 5 minutes of a movie that in the mind of this 6 year old child lasted an eternity.
I either watched it or I’d be left out and made fun of. I can still hear the stinging words today, “Rita Marie is such a scaredy-cat, she’s afraid of everything.” Not to mention that if I didn’t watch it, I’d have to “pretend” I had watched it so as not to be left out of conversations with my classmates Monday morning. Facing immense peer pressure and against my better judgment, I begrudgingly chose to put my big girl pants on and watch it.
Flying Monkeys
The power of the big girl pants lasted to the same scene it had the previous year; the dreaded, horrific flying monkeys attack. I was terrified of those darn flying monkeys; they haunted me for years. I even had nightmares of the monkeys pummeling me like they beat the stuffings out of the poor Scarecrow, or catching me with their talons and whisking me up in the air to meet my doom at the wicked witch’s haunted castle.
I still see flying monkeys these days, but I’m no longer afraid of them. Don’t laugh at me or think I’m delusional because you too are surrounded by flying monkeys. You just might not be skilled at recognizing them. They are alive and well and have an agenda – they want to steal everything you’ve worked for, they desire to pummel the stuffings out of you and carry you off to the witch’s haunted castle.
“You don’t have to fear what you can control.”
– Rita Hudgens
The Language of Limiting Beliefs
Through the years, the flying monkeys have developed a superpower – they are now invisible. Don’t let that stop you from believing in their existence. They are in your head, they speak to you every day; they are better known as your gremlins, your inner critic, the voice of the self-saboteur. They speak the language of limiting beliefs. Limiting beliefs are beliefs that hold you back in any area of your life. They place limitations on your ability to act or achieve your goals.
How can you first become skilled at recognizing the voice of the flying monkeys and then thwarting the assignment they have over your life?
Recognize Their Voice
Once you acknowledge that the monkeys exist, the next step is to recognize their voice. The voice of the self-saboteur is critical and judgmental. It attacks who you are, what you’ve done in the past and what you want to accomplish in the future. It challenges the essence of who you are. It whispers things to you like,
- “You’re not good enough.”
- “You’ve really messed up this time.”
- “You’ll never learn.”
- “This is impossible.”
- “Why even try?”
Recognizing the voice of the inner critic is a crucial first step to disabling the power it has over your life. The next step is for you to control it. You can choose to listen to it and have it keep you from going forward, or you can call it out. 80% of people’s problems are related to how they feel about themselves; and that stems from which voice they choose to listen to.
To replace the inner critic’s voice, it’s important to be intentional and strategic. Retraining the voices you hear is like learning a new language; it’s very doable but it does take practice. Let’s break it down.
Focus on What You Want
To conquer your flying monkeys, focus on what you want, not on what you don’t want. People fail when they focus on what they don’t want instead of what they want:
“I don’t want to lose again.”
“I don’t want another failed relationship.”
“I don’t want to keep procrastinating.”
If you focus on what you “don’t want” you’ll keep getting the same result; your brain won’t recognize what you really want. The critical key is to focus on what you want. This requires you to be not only proactive but also intentional and commanding with your new language.
Be Intentional
Look closely at the progression of language in the following statements:
The language of noncommittal:
“I might, I may, I wish…”
When you are speaking the langue of noncommittal, who is going to take you serious? It’s a wishy-washing voice and you can bank on the fact that your brain won’t believe you; you’ll not fare very well in changing your thoughts and actions.
The language of necessity:
“I should, I ought to, I need to…”
If you speak the language of necessity, you are reinforcing the notion that you’re still not yet doing it. You are declaring what you are not. Nothing has changed and there’s no intentional talk about changing.
Learning Your New Language
The language of Possibility:
“I want to, I can…”
The language of Commitment:
“I am good enough”
“I will start on this project.”
“I will continue with it till it’s completed.”
Do you see the power of your words and the degrees of the language spoken? When you speak the language of possibility and commitment, you are boldly proclaiming who/what you aspire to be. You’re saying, “That’s me!” You are identifying yourself in the present tense.
Reprogramming Your Brain
The quality of your life is in large part determined by your belief system; what you constantly tell yourself. This internal dialogue affects the way you think and feel about yourself and if faulty, must be reprogrammed.
To deactivate the voices of the Flying Monkeys, you must be assertive. You change your behavior by mastering this new language. Recognizing the language of your own inner critic will empower you on the yellow brick road of life. This process is reprograming your brain to recognize the new language and believe you actually are the person you are telling yourself you are.
If the 6 year old “Rita Marie” had stayed listening to the lies that had been imprinted on my mind, I’d still be running away and hiding for cover like the Cowardly Lion in Oz before he discovered truth.
Reprogramming your belief system seems daunting until you start. Once you start you soon recognize that it’s not that tough. Your brain’s plasticity adapts and before you know it, you’ve reached the Emerald City and discovered what Gilda told Dorothy oh so long ago…
“You’ve always had the power my dear; you just had to learn it for yourself.”
You were designed to be resourceful, creative and whole, no need to fear the Flying Monkeys.
Rita helps her clients:
• Embrace their true potential
• Change their limiting beliefs/thoughts
• Create Purpose
• Live Empowered, Confident, and Successful Lives
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