Coaching Yourself CLUTCH – Mindset Trap: Faulty Default Setting

“The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.” – Marcus Aurelius

What is your natural reaction to setbacks, challenges, or bad news?

Honestly, prior to six or so years ago, I was unaware of how embedded my preset thoughts were ingrained in my mind. I was oblivious to the negative impact they had on my perspective.

It’s taken me a while to change these faulty settings; my natural reactions to disappointments. In the past, when faced with an ominous challenge, I would automatically think,

“This is so hard.”

I would feel overwhelmed.

When confronted with yet another setback, I would automatically think,

“It will never happen; this is impossible.”

I would feel dejected.

Hopefully, you can see a pattern; the way you think and feel determines how you act.

I know that most of you reading this blog are self-motivated and highly driven individuals; you accomplish what you set your mind to do.

But the million-dollar question is; HOW are you going to get it done?

In the past, when I automatically believed something was difficult, I still did it. However, it was a burden; I plodded along with all the grit I could muster up and crossed the finish line but I made it harder than what it should have been and I didn’t enjoy anything along the way.

You may do the same thing. You are successful and you are getting things accomplished but a faulty mindset makes the task more arduous than what it should be. It lacks a sense of enjoyment as you pursue it.

This mindset robbed me of precious time and energy until I discovered how to change it.  This is what I want to share with you today.

If you find that you automatically default to the negative, this blog post is for you.

In today’s post, I will break down exactly how to change this preset setting in your mind so you can build resiliency and have a greater sense of achievement while working on your goals. You will no longer be at the mercy of your emotions.

Your Default Settings

Your automatic default settings are the thoughts and feelings that you unconsciously default to when you experience setbacks or disappointments. They have been preset over the course of your life.

These settings can be your best ally and guarantee you success or they can be your biggest adversary and leave you constantly frustrated.

Take a minute to think of the last disappointment, obstacle or setback you experienced. What did you automatically think and feel?

Did you naturally default to the mindset that this was extremely difficult, did you feel dejected or defeated?

If so, let’s look at 3 things you can do to change your default settings.

1. Practice Discernment

The first step to overcoming this mindset trap is to increase your discernment. You want to become deeply aware of your presets; your automatic default thinking.

Notice your thoughts; assess what each thought makes you feel.

You are now armed to not only be aware of what the thought is; you also recognize how it makes you feel so you can change it.

2. Reframe and Neutralize

Once you recognize what you are thinking and feeling, the next step is to reframe the negative perspective. In order to reframe the mindset, it’s important to neutralize it so as to take away the severity of the power it has over your reasoning.

Think in terms of a violent hurricane about to hit land. Once that hurricane is downgraded; its impact on land is not as potent.

Thoughts can be viewed in the same way; you can lessen their power. For example, because of the negativity bias, many people tend to exaggerate their adverse circumstances.

I’ll give you an example. A friend recently said to me, “This is so traumatic.” I knew what he was going through was not easy but the dictionary definition of traumatic is, extremely distressing, shocking or something having long-term psychological effects. So I asked him to neutralize or downgrade the word traumatic.

His first response was “This is really stressful.” He quickly changed it to, “This is hard.” Now that is downgrading.

This is how neutralizing something works. He went from thinking his circumstances were traumatic, which has long-term psychological effects, to hard which allowed him to see his circumstances in a less daunting light.

Neutralizing something empowers you to escape being overwhelmed so that you can be proactive in finding a way out of the situation. Once you take away some of the strength of the problem, it becomes more manageable.

3. Develop a Possibility Mindset

If you learn to let go of your expectations and see your circumstances through the lens of possibility and discovery, a whole new world opens up to you leaving you no longer at the mercy of your faulty default settings.

You will accomplish so much more from a possibility vantage point than you can imagine. You will be much more capable and confident when you explore possibilities.

“If you embrace possibility thinking, your dreams will go from molehills to mountain size, and because you believe in possibilities, you put yourself in position to achieve them.” – John Maxwell

Putting it All Together

Many people argue that it takes so much effort to change a mindset. There is truth to that statement, but if you don’t start, where will you be six months from now, a year from now?

What is a faulty mindset costing you in energy, time, and enjoyment?

It’s never too late and never too early to start changing faulty default settings and rewiring your brain for greater joy, life-satisfaction, and mental strength.

Operating from these principles will greatly reduce disappointments; however, the truth remains that we will all still face situations that cause us to be disappointed. However, reframing and having a strategic plan in place to deal with setbacks, allows you to tap into your inner resources, tackle the disappointments, and bounce back quicker from them.

The results are well worth the effort.

Make it a CLUTCH day,
Rita

Always remember – Nothing is Impossible