When Your Brain Lies to You: Rewiring Your Brain for Confidence

“Confidence is built, not born.”   –  Unknown

When Your Brain Undermines Your Confidence

A while back a client was updating me during our coaching session and told me that he had just closed a million-dollar deal earlier in the week. No matter how you slice it, that’s a win.

Now merely 2 days later, he was asking himself if he even deserved to lead his company.

That’s the Inner Critic doing what it does best: lying and stealing your confidence. 

Sound familiar?

You’re accomplished. People admire you. On paper, you’re successful.
So why does your confidence still waver with these dark thoughts?

Here’s the truth: even the highest performers aren’t immune to the quiet subtle sabotage of a lying brain.

Neuroscience 101

Your brain’s job is to keep you safe, not to make you successful. That means it clings to outdated stories: 

• You’re just lucky  

• You don’t really belong in this room 

• They’ll find out you don’t know what you’re doing 

These thoughts feel like facts, but they’re just neural noise; patterns formed by pressure, habit, and fear of failure.

The lie: 

Your Inner Critic wants you to believe that your identity is tied to your ability to produce, perform, and prove.

The result: 

Even in success, confidence feels fragile and you doubt yourself.

The truth:

Confidence isn’t a reward, it’s a skill. 

Your identity is not defined by your performance; it’s shaped by how you show up, especially when the noise gets loud.

It’s a skill you can build.

The Solution:

Two simple words by the ancient Greek philosopher Socrates:

“Know thyself.”                 

When you know and understand yourself, you will have a greater sense of self-worth, self-respect, and self-confidence.  These 3 truths will throw a hand grenade at your Inner Critic’s logic and lies.

Let’s break them down:

Self- Worth

• Is mission-driven 
• Your contribution to the world

To get clarity, ask yourself:

• How do you contribute to others?

• What is your Life’s Mission Statement?

Self-Respect 

• Earned; it cannot be bought nor can it be given. 

• Cornerstone of how you treat yourself and how you allow others to treat you. 

If you don’t understand how to appreciate and respect yourself, how do you expect others to do so?

To get clarity, ask yourself:

• How good are you at treating yourself with Self-Compassion?
• Do you have clear-cut boundaries in place for your well-being?

Self-Confidence

• Is a sense of security in who you are
• Developed and trained

Confidence is the ability to figure things out. Your confidence will increase when you shatter your faulty belief systems, recognize your strengths, and understand that as an individual you are creative, resourceful, and whole. 

Try this:
Next time your brain offers doubt disguised as truth, pause and get clarity on your Self-Worth, Self-Respect, and Self-Confidence.

Because just like that client, you can close big deals and still question yourself—but now, you know how to take your power back.

Confidence isn’t something you wait for. It’s something you wire in.

Rewire your thoughts, and you’ll rewire your reality.

In Optimism

Rita

Always remember – Nothing is Impossible